Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Guilt

I have my final exams starting this coming Saturday, and i am not ready at all. But i can still sit here and blog. The reason is because i feel so painful inside that i had to express it. I could not take the pain any longer.

I never thought that the small things i've done in the past would be so important in the present. Whenever i think about them, i really regret and sometimes i feel so guilty about them. I always think how i wish the sour past did not happen. How i wish i was not like that, how i wish i didn't do those stuff i've done. But the question that made me wonder till now, is why did i do all those stuff? Whenever i think about why i did them, my mind starts spinning and i feel confused, and i'll ask myself back, "why did i?".

I've hurt my love one in so many ways because of this. And when i think of it, my heart hurts as well. The pain i feel when i think about this makes me feel guilty, it makes me hate myself at times for causing this unnecessary pain to my love.

I'm so sorry for giving you problems, i've never thought that my past would affect you this much. I'm so sorry baby.

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